I’m not dieting. I probably should do some dieting, but I’m not actively playing that game. I consider it to be a good day when I have eaten my five a day and I’ve been outside. But I am here, today, writing about dieting.
I have an attitude towards food where it’s all ok in moderation. If you want to loose weight, I understand the “less in, more out” philosophy. I understand that you need to eat less and move more. I get all that. I understand all that. I’m not stupid.
But, I know someone who is.
Welcome back Flossie.
Now, I know that I give some terrible advice, but I only give such terrible advice to people who I know are intelligent. For example, last night when I was messaging Nic – she was eating a McDonald’s and I said it’s ok if a) husband was eating McDonald’s too (calories cancel each other out) or b) if she asked for a knife and fork (calories fall out when you cut your food).
An intelligent person would think “very funny” or “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. I personally only know one person who would take me literally at my word: a 52-year-old, educated woman who is supposed to be somewhat intelligent. In fact, I like to think that she knows that I am taking the piss but is just being a greedy gob anyway.
Now I bring you to the part of this story where I have burnt my nose. I began choking on tea last night – hot tea – and my nose is now a bit numb.
There I was, drinking my tea and I had five notifications in very quick succession telling me that Flossie has decided that fats don’t cause weight gain – only carbs do that and, therefore, it’s ok that she eats her eight (yes, 8) sausages each morning because she doesn’t have any digestive problems which prevents her from processing fats. As my step-mum has pointed out – sausages contain ‘carbs’ – they are “filled out” with breadcrumbs. And, as Fi has also pointed out – carbs don’t cause weight gain, eating too much causes weight gain.
As I said at the top: I believe in having things in moderation. I don’t see the point in cutting anything out – that’s only going to make me want something more. But, I’m also not a greedy gob like Flossie. I don’t eat a Big Mac meal with five hamburgers on the side. I don’t eat an entire bargain bucket for myself. I don’t eat two large pizza’s in one sitting. I cannot eat three cooked meals, plus snacks and desserts, in one day – I really would be very sick.
I understand that we’re all different sizes with different habits but I do wonder how much damage Flossie is doing with her attitude to food – what example is she setting for her children? When she is issuing this kind of advice, what are her children hearing? Surely we should encourage “moderation” (and exercise) rather than “carbs are bad” and “fat is good”? If fat doesn’t really make you gain weight, I wonder why the “experts” push oven chips over my favourite deep fried variety of chips? If fat really doesn’t cause weight gain, why don’t they serve blocks of lard in my favourite places to eat?
Thankfully, I am able to put my fears to the back of my mind because I hear that the nine-year-old boy laughed at Flossie’s speech regarding fats/carbs/8 sausages. If Horace is laughing, we know Flossie isn’t making sense…